I had stag chili at a game before the sun went down...During the night game I was waiting down a trail to ambush the enemy team if they moved on our territory. Suddenly I felt this terrible grumbling feeling as i dropped my gun, stood straight up and grabbed my ass. The biggest loudest and possibly wettest fart of all time came roaring out.
At first I thought I shit myself, but to my surprise, I was good and safe...only to notice about 4 shapes moving out of the bush infront of me....as I stood in the middle of a trail in the moonlight, hands on my ass and gun at my feet.
I was able to drop and roll behind a bush. Unfortunatly my gun was a few feet from me.
As I waiting for them to pass, I was sure they would find me, if not by hearing my aftershock farts, but by that terrible smell. Lucky for me, it must have fallowed me behind the bush (ala backdraft). Nasty time. it seeps up your BDU and combined with the heat and moisture from under your LBV, it had such a terrible tang.
Once they passed I was able to retrieve my gun and radio in their position, leading to their elimination.
now I eat stag every game.