I was once like you. I loved the feeling of cavity searches, but I hated having to wait in line at customs for hours.
But then I discovered personal ads on craigslist, and it was just full of lonely people who would love to provide me with my cavity search fix. The best part was that they were all local singles, with virtually no line ups!
Occasionally I had to provide my own handcuffs (customs agents are generally better prepared for my kind of fun), but I quickly found that the cost of providing my own handcuffs outweighed the cost of having my purse-like weapon seized at the border each time.