A Total Bastard
Join Date: May 2003
I posted this experience somewhere else some time ago but cannot find it, so here it is again...
I am coming home from Morb's house after some gear work. Brought my M4 with me so he could make a new slither attachment for a new hardpoint Gump installed on my primary. I'm driving my shitty oldsmobile, on which the trunk is broken, hence my gear is in the back.
I come up to a R.I.D.E. checkpoint on Albion Vaughn Rd in Bolton. I'm not even thinking about airsoft, I'm not thinking about that fucktard who got busted today. I am thinking about my warm bed. Good thing I had nothing to drink at Rob's, no problem.
Roll up to the first cop in the line, and here is how it goes:
"Evening Sir, how are you tonight?"
"Good evening officer, I'm just fine, how are you?"
"A little cold... had anything to drink tonight?"
[officer does the usual nose in your face - poor bastard, I haven't brushed all day]
"Where you headed?"
"Heading home sir."
[as he proceeds to shine his light in the back of the car]
"Where you coming from?"
"Mississauga, visiting a friend"
"I see... is that a gun the back of your car?"
[HOLY JESUS GOD, AND THAT SHIT TONIGHT ON THE RADIO - I AM SO TOTALLY FUCKED... okay, don't panic, he looks young enough to be into airsoft]
"No, sir, its a paintball gun..."
"A little big for a paintball gun isn't it?"
"No sir, actually its a hardshell case from Canadian Tire, the paintball gun is smaller than the case."
"Do you mind if I have a look at it?"
[Okay, think fast, what did (friendname deleted) say about this situation... I remember, they actually don't have the right to search the car and you can refuse to show him, as long as you don't give them a reason to suspect you of a crime... play along those lines, but don't be an an asshat. ednote: I had forgotten (friendname deleted) had said the TRUNK and not the whole car - if he sees something in the window, its fair game...]
"Actually sir, I do mind."
"Oh really, why is that?"
"Well sir, its personal property, and its cold out, and I'd like to get home and go to bed."
"I'd like to see what is in the case sir."
"Why is that officer?"
"Because I have to satisfy myself that you don't have a firearm"
[Okay, we're off (friendname deleted)' script now... shit... if I am an asshole about this, he will be too... lets explain it...]
"Officer, do you know what an airsoft gun is?"
[Awwwww fuck... this could go any direction]
"Well, its actually like paintball, but the guns are more realistic."
[I can sense this isn't going to fly...]
"I still have to see what is in the case sir... pull over under the 60 sign there."
[points flashlight - Okay now I am way off the script...]
I pull off to the side, my window is open, I have no jacket, I am freezing. , and I am shivering... he's going to think I am nervous. In fact I am not nervous, I am simply worried he's going to seize poor ol' Matilda (my M4) and send her to Ottawa for testing and I will never see her again. Damn, Gump just got her working perfect too.
I get out of the car and open the back door as the officer approaches.
"Would you prefer to remove the case from the car officer?"
[my thinking here is do NOTHING to give him any reason to feel threatened and make every movement and intention clear before I do it. He is already suspicious, don't make him nervous]
"No, you can remove it."
Okay, so I take it out and put the case on the trunk of the car and open it. I begin with the airsoft speech, mentioning that I am part of one of the biggest airsoft teams in Canada, and in fact we do have a number of police officers and military and ex-military on the team. As I open the case and show him:
"uh WOW... what does it shoot?"
"It shoots ABS plastic BBs"
[I hand him some bbs - at this point his partner comes over to have a look]
"You see, if you look at the ejection port, there is no gun bolt" [I show him the hop up] "and the magazines" [I show him the mag] "hold the bbs"
At this point his partner is listening and says "Thats cool!" The first cop visibly relaxes at this point and I feel pretty good that things are going to work out.
They forget about the R.I.D.E. check (cars are going by by now without being stopped) and I am giving them the Wolfpack pitch, where we play, etc, come on out.., etc... and I am freezing to death and just want to go home.
"What was that website again?"
[I make a mental note that they never asked my name or to see any ID]
"www.wolfpackairsoft.com" [out comes his notebook, he writes it down]
They say good bye to me and as I am getting into the car, I hear the first cop's partner say "That looks really cool, I wanna go play that..."
I gotta get the trunk fixed.