going back on topic, I think one of us who knows the area should email him and tell him you will do the training and the first lesson in stalking is to find you. Then tell him to go to a certain field in the middle of nowhere at a certain time. And just say you will be wearing a ghillie (of course you won't be because you will be at home with a beer watching the game). If anything, it will train his patience if he actually sits it out.
Imagine Whirled Peas