Alex...IMO, you should just stop now. Someone posted, you made your point, you clarified your point, you've received just about the best advice that you'll get.
Wait...think...try again where people will let you.
Whether or not you chit chat with one person or another to set expectations or whatever...doesn't matter much at this point.
I strongly suspect that you'll eventually get a second chance with some people, and never get one with others. That's just the way it goes.
What you MUST realize is this: Hosts/owners/organizers don't need YOU *figurative individual*. There's plenty of other players who will sign up and "play by the book". Their lives and days are much easier without anyone who poses the least bit of risk to their events/games. If someone is going to cause them grief then the host's life is much easier by simply not having that person there in the first place.
Goes the other way too. If the host has a shitty/half-assed approach and wild/dangerous/embarassing event...then solid players won't attend. There was a game this summer that was promoted as a "Vets & Experienced Players Only" game. Quite a few "senior"/seasoned guys signed up and showed up. What it turned out to be was a 100'x200' patch of woods off a country road out in farmland. Full view of moms&pops driving down the road on the way to church. More than a few "backyard warriors" showed up, clearsoft and highcaps in tow. Shooting without goggles, shooting each other in the safezone without goggles, tracking public persons with thier rifles, that kind of shit. The "vets" left...I can 100% guarantee that none will ever return to any event hosted by this guy any time in the foreseeable future.
And that...is the reason why your ban wasn't taken lightly, nor was it made permanent right off the bat. Collectively the hosts realized that people need a second chance...that sometimes a person needs a cold bucket of water to realize that what's happening isn't to be taken lightly...that it does no good to push players or hosts to take their games "off board" and have more bush games like the one I described above.
So got back and reread some of the posts by RITZ, Wildcard (unusally restrained), Renegade, RnR, Ducky, etc... Ignore the posts about easing into things by reffing...I can't see that happening.
Reread them....think it through...wait.
PS. Myself, and I'll go out on a limb and say most hosts, could care less if you apologize or want to talk things over. Like I said above...the hosts don't need you to put a great game together...not having you there is frankly easier. But, they're reasonable guys and are good to their word. If they say that you've got another chance...then you've got one.